I tied myself with wire To let the horses roam free Playing with the fire Until the fire played with me
The stone was semi-precious We were barely conscious Two souls, too smart to be In the realm of certainty Even on our wedding day
We set ourselves on fire A girl could not deny her It's not if I believe in love If love believes in me Oh, believe in me
At the moment of surrender I folded to my knees I did not notice the passers-by And they did not notice me
I've been in every black hole At the altar of the dark star My body's now a begging bowl That's begging to get back, begging to get back To my heart To the rhythm of my soul To the rhythm of my unconsciousness To the rhythm that yearns To be released from control
I was punching in the numbers At the ATM machine I could see in the reflection A face staring back at me
At the moment of surrender Of vision over visibility I did not notice the passers-by And they did not notice me
I was speeding on the subway Through the stations of the cross Every eye looking every other way Counting down 'til the pain would stop
At the moment of surrender Of vision over visibility I did not notice the passers-by And they did not notice me
* * *
One of the Three Poisons in Buddhism is translated "clinging, grasping, attachment." The Poisons are causes of suffering and rebirth. This poison corresponds to "greed" among the Seven Deadly Sins, taught in Christianity. Harm comes to others and ourselves when we clutch tightly to beliefs: what I have elsewhere termed "beliefism." We see greed-of-belief in religious and political extremism. If one is secure in what they know, why the need to clutch so? How can I learn from others who believe differently, if I hide behind what I think?
* * *
This greed is not merely about things, what we call possessions or stuff we think belongs to us, have ownership of or over, when we do not possess anything and ownership is a legal matter, otherwise a fiction.
In Tibetan Buddhism, a famous teaching is Parting from the Four Attachments. This teaching derives in its written form from Sakya Drakpa Gyaltsen (1147-1216), and it is said to have been transmitted to him by the Mahayana Buddhist bodhisattva of transcendent wisdom, Manjushri.
I will share just the first of these attachments -
If you are attached to this life, you are not a dharma practitioner.
When working in hospice, I saw the peacefulness of persons who had no attachment to this life; I, also, saw the opposite. I saw how the decline of the body helps in this process of release. So, when Buddhists say we are to die before we die, this is part of it. And we experience a life more free and lively as we stopping treating it as something to clutch like a possession.
For me, part of spiritual growth has been a change in belief about this present life, its end, and what may or may not be after. Our worldview, with its varied beliefs, can be integral to peace in living aware that this present life stint is brief and can end at any moment. Yet, too, belief can lead us to a place where we are certain all will be well, yet we do not the details of what that means - we only have an inner certainty, given not gotten. This has been a major shift for me, after being raised in conservative, evangelical Christianity with its materialistic view of an afterlife. Sure, those beliefs about the afterlife were comforting, but holding on to a belief simply for it is comforting is not wise and not being honest.
* * *
Massie walks around with a limp and appears to be in pain with each step. One person asks, "What's wrong with Massie? She's always limping and has a grimace on her face." "Well, see, Massie insists on keeping on wearing shoes too small for her feet."
How much suffering do we bring to ourselves and others by refusing to release beliefs too small for where we have grown? Socially, there is much suffering in the world, for many - including in religions and politics - refuse to grow into where we are now, insisting on beliefs from the past and no longer adjusted to our times. Truth is not a buffet bar: choose what you want.
